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Hard Conversations Are Healthy

Aug 27, 2025

How to Approach Performance & Behavior Issues With Clarity, Respect, and Growth in Mind

You didn’t become a salon owner to avoid conflict.....but you also didn’t expect leading a team would require so many hard conversations.

Here’s the truth: Conflict isn’t a threat to your culture. It’s part of protecting it.

The problem is, most leaders either:

Avoid the conversation too long until it erupts, or
Address it too fast without coaching context, making the issue worse.

But hard conversations don’t have to be dramatic or destructive.

They can be healthy, clarifying, and transformational when approached the right way.

The Cost of Avoidance

Avoiding hard conversations always leads to one of two outcomes:

The issue spreads – Poor behavior gets normalized.
Your best team members leave – Because they no longer feel protected by leadership.

Culture isn’t just what you say is important—it’s what you allow.

Conversation Scripts: From Avoidance to Ownership

Here are a few simple frameworks to help you start the conversation with clarity and confidence.

1. The Observation → Impact → Expectation Model

“Hey [Name], I wanted to check in on something I’ve noticed. Recently, I’ve observed [specific behavior], and I’ve seen it affect [team/client/energy/etc.]. That’s not in alignment with how we want to show up here. I want to talk through what support you might need and what change looks like moving forward.”

This script works because it:

Focuses on facts, not assumptions
Names the impact
Creates space for solution-oriented dialogue

2. When It’s About Energy or Attitude

“I’m noticing a shift in your energy lately. You’re not in trouble—I just care enough to check in. How are you doing? What’s going on under the surface that might be showing up here at work?”

This approach invites honesty before correction. It may uncover something deeper—like burnout, disconnection, or personal stress.

3. When You’ve Given Feedback Before

“We’ve talked about [issue] before, and I want to circle back because I haven’t seen consistent improvement. I care about your growth and about this team, and this behavior is beginning to affect both. What’s getting in the way of making this shift?”

Accountability is love. Clarity is kind.

Enneagram Tips: How Each Type Responds to Feedback

Understanding personality dynamics can help you deliver feedback that actually lands. Here’s a quick guide:

Type	Core Motivation	Feedback Tip
1 – Reformer	To be good, right, and responsible	Frame feedback around growth and integrity. Use “improvement” language.
2 – Helper	To be loved and needed	Reinforce their value while offering feedback—don’t frame it as rejection.
3 – Achiever	To be successful and admired	Connect feedback to future goals and leadership potential.
4 – Individualist	To be unique and authentic	Respect their emotions and offer feedback as a collaboration, not correction.
5 – Investigator	To be competent and self-sufficient	Be clear, logical, and give them space to process. Don’t surprise them.
6 – Loyalist	To feel safe and supported	Build trust first, and let them ask questions. Reassure them of their place.
7 – Enthusiast	To feel freedom and joy	Be direct but keep it forward-moving. Let them brainstorm positive solutions.
8 – Challenger	To be strong and in control	Don’t sugarcoat. Be honest, clear, and confident. Invite their input.
9 – Peacemaker	To maintain peace and connection	Use gentle tone, but be clear. Help them see the importance of resolution.

Final Thought

You can’t expect a healthy culture without healthy conversations.

Your role as a leader isn’t to keep everyone comfortable. It’s to create clarity, offer support, and hold the standard with consistency.

So next time you feel the nudge to speak up, remember:

Hard conversations are a gift, not just to the team, but to the person who needs it most.

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